Tetragametic Hellraiser: The Final Countdown
by Master of the Boot
Summary: Jasper has tetragametic chimerism; a condition that causes his body to be both male and female. This new revelation will shake him to his core, but his life will be made much harder by a lovestruck vamire and a murderous Russian spy


Tetragametic Hellraiser: The Final Countdown

Disclaimer: I do not own Metal Gear or Twilight. They are owned by Kojima and Meyer. I enjoy both series and I think that you'll enjoy this one. This story is an AU of a story written by Zikare called _Tetragametic Chimerism_. It is a very good story and I think you'll love that one just as much as you'll love my story here. Enjoy ;)

The following is a two shot that will feature this chapter and an epilogue. I'm not sure when the epilogue will go up but be patient, please. This story contains scenes of rape; if that offends you or digusts you then please feel free to turn back.

_Seattle, Washington_

_My name is Jasper Cullen and I am a slave to love. As near as I can figure it ten years ago I fell for a deadly femme fatal and now I've been dragged into a world of horror, madness and death. That beautiful, crazy minx that I gave myself heart, blood and soul to is the only reason that I'm still alive right now. _

_Ten years ago I fell in love with a vampire and because of that we are being hunted by bounty hunters, lunatics and criminals. My Alice and I have broken vampire law and for that there is only one punishment. For what she's done, my Alice has a price on her head the size of Texas. _

_I don't know if our relationship is healthy but there won't be another woman for me. At any minute, either of us could be dragged to our deaths. _

_But it wasn't always like this. I can still remember the day in my life when "normal" died and sanity was denied. Ten years ago . . . _

* * *

I was fucking pissed off as hell. For four fucking hours I'd been trapped in this shitty hospital and by Dawkins I was mad. My name is Jasper Cullen and my adopted father who I love very much is pissing me off to no end.

Since I was a kid I knew I was different. I had no balls; and don't you fucking dare laugh or I swear to Darwin that I'll rip out your beating heart and eat it.

At first everyone thought I was born with a condition called gueve doche. Basically it means that the testicles don't descent until the onset of puberty. But they got the wrong diagnosis.

It turns out that I had tetragametic chimerism. That's where two twins in the womb fuse into a single human being during the early stages of embryonic development. In my case I've got a body that's half male and half female, which leads me to my embarrassing dilemma.

I never had any balls but I had a big dick and I was proud of it. It made me manly even though I never actually had a pair of testicles. It made me feel better than my adopted brother Edward, who's only got a four inch prick. And it really makes me feel better than my brother Emmett; he's got a puny dick and against his huge body builder physique it looks like he's got nothing but a toothpick and two peas. He's only like one half inch bigger than Edward.

None of them can stand up to my monster cock. If you're a woman that I find attractive maybe you can touch it. Otherwise if you try to touch my dick I'll kick your head in.

Man, I was just so fucking pissed off. About four hours ago Esme drove me to the hospital when something was wrong with me. I love Esme like a mother despite the fact that she's a fucking bitch who treats me like I'm four years old.

I'M FUCKING FIFTEEN YOU STUPID COW! I JUST WANTED TO BE TREATED LIKE AN ADULT! QUITE TREATING ME LIKE A DOLL!

Okay, I'm sorry. That was way out of line on my part. Esme doesn't deserve to be called a bitch. She tries her best but she's so goddamn stubborn in thinking that she knows best; she thinks she's the mom on leave it to beaver.

Anyway, I've been pretty pissy lately. For the last couple of months I'd find a tiny spot of blood on the inside of my underpants. I just ignored it until tonight at about midnight I had a fucking huge flow of blood all over the sheets. I thought I was going to die.

Darwin, it was so damn scary. I even cried and let Esme hug me and we _never_ hug. It turns out I was having my period; yeah, go ahead and laugh.

Like I said, when I was conceived I started out as twins but I got fused. So I'm half man and half woman but I consider myself to be all man. Inside my body I've gone one semi functioning testicle and one fully functioning ovary and even a small vagina.

When Emmett heard over the phone what my diagnosis was, I could hear him laugh. If he was there with me he'd better hope there was nothing sharp lying around. If he makes fun of my vagina to my face I'll just fucking kill him; I don't give a shit if he is my adopted brother, I'll kill him right in front of Rosalie.

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry; I'm not myself right now. I'm on my period and my hormones are going nuts. That and my blasted womb hurts, it's like a bad running cramp but worse; Carlisle said it was because my flow was so thick and heavy.

Esme had to go and get the rest of the family for a visit. So now I'm stuck here with Carlisle my father and Edward. Edward got here by stealing Emmett's jeep and driving all the way here. When he gets home Emmett is going to nuke him, hence why Emmett and Rosalie need to be picked up by Esme.

Actually I'm pretty touched that they'd want to see freakish little me but I take what I can get.

I love Carlisle; he's the coolest dad ever. I love him because when I was a kid he bought me adult history books instead of the kiddie ones like Esme. He also let me and the kids watch R-rated movies when we were longer as long as we had adult supervision.

I love Esme but she's kind of lame. She's too normal. But at least she supports Carlisle's views about sex. Both of my parents give me and my siblings condoms and lube like socks. Neither Carlisle nor Esme believes in abstinence only birth control and they believe in the use of contraceptives and abstaining. The condoms are just an insurance policy.

Apparently Esme was a stripper in college; she was a total cock sucking slut before she graduated and became an architect. It's a shame; that's one side of her that I'd really like to see. I'd love to see Esme as a wild, crazy stripper mom who defends her kids and blows the guy at the Safeway to get a discount on a birthday cake. But she's just an architect now, oh well; at least she has the potential to be cool. Normal is so overrated.

Like I said, Edward and Carlisle are here with me. Carlisle is in his late thirties and he's the blond doctor that has all the nurses dropping their panties but he only loves Esme. For a guy that worships condoms like a tribal god and thinks Richard DawkinsJesus he's really not into swinging.

Edward is a total flaming homo; I mean he's one of those flaming gay _Will and Grace_ types. He's limp wristsed, talks in a girly voice and as a little kid he used to dress as a princess for Halloween before Carlisle put a stop to that.

Carlisle is a pretty heteronormative guy and it just kills Edward. He really just thinks of Edward as a straight kid gone wrong instead of a true homo. It drives them apart like me and Esme are apart. But Edward still loves Carlisle.

Right now Edward is wearing a pink shirt with a black triangle pointing downwards and a pair of Rosalie's super tight jeans. He and Rose are best of buds even if he's envious of Emmett for stealing Rose from him.

Carlisle just finished telling me what was wrong with me. Despite what he said, I considered having a vagina to be a major mega fucking problem and it almost made me want to stop being an atheist and pray to god to get rid of it.

Luckily there's good news.

"There is a surgical procedure that you can get, Jasper. We would have to go in through your vagina and manually lower your one testicle. The only side effect of this would be that it would destroy your ovary."

"Why would I care if I lose an ovary?" I demand.

"It's your body, son; I don't want you making any decisions that you regret later on."

"Dad, I don't want to be a freak. Make me normal."

Looking ten years back that was pretty ironic coming from me; I was the family rebel_._

Then Edward says something that aggravated my PMS. "Don't worry Jasper, we'll all support you whatever decision you make. Plus, I think you'd make a really cool sister."

He was out of line but so was I. "Who asked you opinion you fag?" I yelled at him.

Carlisle and Edward both gave me a look of shock that haunts me to this day. Carlisle looked disappointed and words can't describe the incandescent fury that Edward was feeling. For a few seconds I was seriously afraid for my life.

Edward is kind of a dork when he's not trying to gouge someone's eyes out. When Mike Newton called him a fag in the school cafeteria he bit off Mike's ear and got a long ass time in juvie. Carlisle was so mad.

Before Edward could say or do anything, he was out the door of the examining room in a flash of his stupid earring. PMSing or not, I'd crossed a line and my self-righteous anger was replaced by shame. I felt so bad I wanted to throw up, and it did not have to do with my newly discovered womb.

Finally I worked up the courage to look at Carlisle. Hurting that man and his adopted son was the thing in life I regret the most. He looked like he was choking on something. He put his hand to his chest to try and keep his heart from climbing into his throat.

I was at such a low point that I was glad that Emmett, Esme and Rosalie hadn't seen me talk to my brother that way. We may all be adopted but we're closer than blood.

Carlisle didn't get mad at me. Instead he just gave me this sad, sad look like when the Lorax saw the last tree get cut down. Just a look of total despair.

"I'll go get him," he said in this terrible hollow voice. He walked out of the room like he had no life whatsoever in him. I felt like the world's biggest douche.

Sure, by Dawkins I had some mega big problems. Genetics had conspired to rob me of my manhood before I'd even gotten my first chest hair. I had no balls! Hell yeah I was upset; but my brother didn't deserve the hateful things I said to him. He's always been good to me except for that time when we were both seven and he touched my dick after we got muddy in the rain and were forced to shower together.

As it was though, I felt pretty stupid sitting there in that damn hospital gown

Then sometime happened that changed my life forever and I'm not talking about meeting the girl of my dreams.

As I was getting off the examining table to pick up my clothes from the chair where Carlisle had left them after the tests, a man walked into the room that was unlike any man I'd ever met up to that point.

I was startled when the door opened and _he_ walked in.

For the last few months Carlisle had talked non-stop shit about the new hospital administrator, calling him a bloodthirsty maniac who was dedicated to killing as many people as possible and that his personality was typical for the medical business in this country.

But he never said how big the son of a bitch was.

The guy was big, almost seven feet tall and wide as a door frame. His body was hidden by a business suit but when I saw his neck muscles I realized that this guy probably had muscles in his shit, he was so bulky. He literally looked like he could rip Emmett in half and use Rosalie as a toothpick.

Every footfall of his made the ground shake and I was left to wondering if this fucker was even real or if he was part of my imagination.

His face was heavily scarred and the scars ran up his face and into his pale blonde hair like snakes. On the left corner of his mouth was a huge lesion that looked like he'd fallen asleep on a hot waffle iron. Expensive suit aside, the guy looked like Hell's Half Acre.

As he walked into the room I saw that he was wearing red rubber gloves and carrying a fork and a bowl of instant ramen noodles.

He didn't notice me and just walked over to the sink that was in the room. As he turned on the water he started to chant something weird. "Kuwabara, kuwabara," he chanted.

I couldn't help but stare at this strange man. I got a look at his name tag while he poured water into his instant noodles.

Yevgeny Volgin. That was his name. He was the hospital administrator.

Like a normal man that I knew he wasn't, Volgin put his ramen into the microwave oven over the sink. Carlisle had explained to me earlier how the hospital was forced to turn some break rooms into exam rooms due to budget cutbacks.

Next, Volgin held up his finger to the button panel on the microwave but he didn't press any buttons. To my shock, a spark few out of his finger and turned on the microwave. He was like a damn electric Fonzie.

It was right after he fired a second spark into the microwave to set the time that did he turn around and notice me.

His muddy green eyes met my brown ones and we just stared at each other for what felt like forever. He had this look of surprise on his face followed by recognition. I had no idea what he was expecting of me.

Unexpectedly, he took a few heavy steps towards me and started to speak in a voice that had just the barest hint of a Russian accent.

"Major," he said, "What are you doing here? I've been waiting for you in my room."

I'd never met this fucker before in my life and already he said he'd been waiting for me? And the way he said it; it was like he was expecting me to be his mistress or something.

He took a step closer to me and I stumbled back. I was completely speechless; my mouth wasn't working anymore.

Volgin looked at me with surprise and some other emotion I couldn't identify. "Major?" he asked gently.

The surprise on his face changed and became mixed in with anger. With lightning speed, one of his red gloved hands shot out and grabbed my crotch. My eyes shot wide open and I put my hands on his massive writs in a vain effort to make him let go.

Edward once touched my dick but it was more out of childish curiosity than anything. Volgin grabbed my fucking pecker with enough pressure to turn coal into diamond.

I was sure my cock was going to explode into a bloody mess when Volgin mercifully let go. Gasping with relief, I fell to the floor and grabbed my badly bruised dick.

While I was on the ground writhing and wanting my mommy, Volgin was looking at one of his massive gorilla hands and examining his fingers. Finally he growled at me. "You're not Ivan!"

No shit I wasn't Ivan. I'm motherfucking Jasper Cullen and I don't like being grabbed on the dick by freaky Russian men with more scars than a botched boob job case. I still couldn't think of anything to say to this fucker but he was making me mad.

Volgin spun on his heel and started to wax on semi-poetically. "I come here looking for some nourishment, and what do I find; just a greasy imposter."

I'd just figured out what I wanted to say to that son of a bitch when he whipped around with more of that lightning speed and pointed a gun right between my eyes.

I didn't care anymore about my PMS or my indignant anger at being touched in the wrong place, I was metaphorically shitting myself with fear as I stared down the barrel of that gun. The hole where the bullet came out of looked like a soulless eye.

"Who are you really?" Volgin ground out.

All I did was stutter like a little bitch. Let's face it, I was only a scrawny fifteen year old chimera whose only claim to fame was being good at sports and having a big dick. It's not like I face down death on a daily basis. The closest I came to dying was reading college level civil war books and picking up Emmett's dirty clothes when I lost a bet.

Before I could react, Volgin put his gun back into his jacket and grabbed me by both arms. I kicked and screamed as he hauled me over to the hospital bed tucked into the corner. The big bastard picked me up like I weighted nothing and hitting him felt like hitting a concrete wall; he was definitely more muscular than Emmett.

Shaking me like a rag doll, Volgin started to interrogate me. "Who are you? Who are you working for? Are you working for the Volturi?"

His hands were on my shoulders and he was squeezing hard enough to bruise me. "Get off me, you fucking pervert!" I screamed shrilly at him. "Leave me the fuck alone!" But Volgin only shook me harder.

I sensed a panic in his voice despite him shaking me like a fucking cup of Dairy Queen Milkshake. "Tell me what you've done with Ivan? Where is he and why isn't he in my room!"

I was hoping with every fibre of my being that Carlisle was going to show up at any minute and call security on this fucking psycho but luck wasn't with me that day.

He shook me real hard. "Are you after the Philosopher's legacy?"

He shook me some more.

"Are you after the legacy; the treasure amassed by the allied powers during the two world wars?"

I didn't give a shit about his stupid legacy because I was being fucking shaken like paint.

"Admit it!" he yelled as loud as he could, "You're after my treasure!"

He finally stopped shaking me long enough for me to give a straight answer. My hair was a mess and I was sleepy and my womb hurt and I didn't need this faggot in his stupid red rubber gloves to give me a hard time. "I don't give a shit about your fucking treasure!" I yelled in my not very intimidating voice. "Let me go, you asshole!"

Volgin just growled in frustration and slapped me. He hit me hard enough that I was seeing stars. Before I could clear my head one of his massive hands pressed down on my chest.

I struggled against Volgin holding me down but I might have as well had a three hundred pound fatass sitting on my chest.

Quite clearly I saw his hold his other hand over the railing on the hospital bed. An electric current zapped from Volgin's hand into the hospital bed. As soon as he did that, metal clamps shot out of hidden panels and caught my flailing arms and legs. When he was sure that I was totally trapped, Volgin took his hand off my chest.

I took a minute to survey my surroundings. I was trapped in a room with a potentially psychotic man who would shoot lightning out of his hands and the hospital bed I was on had a double feature as an S&M prop.

What the fuck kind of hospital was my dad working in anyway?

My limbs were really scrawny despite being on several sports teams at school. I thought at first that I could simply slip out of the restraints but Volgin killed that dream. He hit a button on the bed and the restraints became painfully tight.

"Comfortable?" Volgin leered at me. The smile on his face twisted his scars into hideous patterns that looked utterly stomach turning.

I tried to talk to once more beg him to let me go but he just grabbed my longish blond hair and twisted as hard as he could.

I screamed as the powerful man twisted my hair so hard that I thought he was going to rip it out by the root. Over the pain I was barely aware that he was talking to me.

"You've had your chance to talk, little man. Now you just watch and listen."

He twisted my hair harder before he let go; I actually felt some of the hairs rip right out of my scalp.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I was on the verge of tears. I was terrified beyond all shadow of a doubt. In fact, what Volgin had in mind for me was far more terrible than anything I could imagine. I knew I was going to be tortured, just not in so horrible a way.

I opened my mouth to gasp when I saw Volgin bend down and take off one of his shoes. Tilting my head as best as I could, I tried to see what kind of perversion he had planned for me.

A second later, Volgin held up his stinking wool sweat sock that only a retard would wear with such good shoes. His bad sense of fashion was little comfort to me as he rammed the stinking, sweaty sock into my mouth.

That fucking sweat sock tasted like a punch in the mouth. It was putrid and vile and I vomited while it was in my mouth, luckily I didn't have that much to eat for supper.

Choking on the sock, I struggled to breath; I sprayed myself with snot as I choked on my own vomit.

As I tried to spit the sock out, Volgin grabbed me by the throat and pressed his handgun to my head once more. I was paralyzed with fear. Unless you've been tied up and had a gun pressed to your fucking head you'll never know what I really felt there.

There I was, a barely one hundred and forty pound scrawny kid with snot on his face and there was Volgin, an animal in human form; he didn't have one shred of pity for me as he stared me down from above. He was a good as god; he had the power of life and death and I was only alive because of his sadistic whims.

"Spit that out and you're dead," he uttered in a low voice. The way he said it and the steadiness of his hand told me that he'd done this before; he had murdered people before. Volgin wasn't just playing tough. He was a killer.

Then to my everlasting shame, Volgin's gloved hands started to roam all over my body. Those massive mitts of his felt and squeezed everywhere; I mentally cursed the paper hospital gown.

When he lifted up the gown and started to feel my genitals I shut my eyes and started to pray. I wasn't praying to any particular deity, I just wanted someone to stop this madman and let the nightmare be over.

As he treated my body like his own personal toy I could hear Volgin speak in that growly voice of his. "What's this?" he asked.

My body went stiff and my eyes snapped open. A bizarre sensation settled over me. It was like somebody stuck a live wire in my ass; I thought at first Volgin jolted me with his electricity. What he was actually doing was sticking a finger in my vagina.

My mind was totally devoid of thought. I was just in a state of numb fear.

Slowly and deliberately Volgin pulled out the finger he'd stuck into me and sniffed it. "A vagina; what are you, some kind of dick girl?" he was as surprised as I was when Carlisle broke the news about me being a chimera.

Then, Volgin's ugly scarred face twisted into a lecherous grin and he started to cackle. Like a child at Christmas, he sprinted to the door and locked it.

Still chuckling sadistically, Volgin reached into his pocket and pulled out a paper napkin.

When he walked up to me, I'd been wondering for some time what I'd done to deserve this. I believed myself to be a fundamentally good person and if this was a punishment it was far disproportionate to my crime.

When Volgin began to wipe my face clean of spit and snot I froze like a rabbit before a snake. Having him wipe my face so gently like that only made me fear the man more; it meant that he had something very awful planned and that he was only toying with me.

"There, there, all better now," he cooed in a sickening parody of motherhood before bursting out cackling again.

Words can't describe how I was feeling. You had to be in my shoes to know what it was like to be terrorized by a man like that.

My horror only increased when Volgin climbed up onto the hospital/torture bed and climbed on top of me. The weight of the man was so great I thought my ribs would be crushed, but he quickly got up on his knees so that he sat just past my pelvis.

As he began to pull back the hospital gown to look at my most private areas I shut my eyes. My higher brain shut down as he began to fondle my body; I wasn't thinking, just feeling.

A slap from Volgin caused me to open my eyes, which I instantly regretted. I just wanted to transport myself far away. I didn't get that luxury.

Volgin's member was huge, easily a foot long and of pussy destroying girth. He had a short crop of blonde pubic hair and I could see scars running all over his pelvis. It was a small mercy but I was glad there were no scars on his dick.

The sight of that big tool caused a new bolt of fear to strike me, bigger than the ones that had come before it. I was an animal in abattoir and Volgin was the butcher.

While I tried to plead with my eyes, Volgin scooted closer. Sweat broke out across my body as I felt the tip of his dick press into my pussy.

No, he couldn't possibly—

He wouldn't!

No! Stop!

His glans slipped off the entrance of my dry vagina. Something that big wasn't supposed to fit in a small vagina like mine.

Well, needless to say it took him a while to get into me; he had to let it partially deflate before he did but he got me.

It was bizarre actually. I was aware of my violation but I was totally numb; I couldn't feel a thing emotionally or physical. It was like I was watching it all happen to some other person.

When Volgin finally came in me, I didn't even notice it. I was just a little doll; no heart to break or mind to scar.

Volgin climbed off of me, nearly crushing me once again. As he grunted and got his pants zipped up I just lay there breathing and looking up at the ceiling at the lights. The lights were nice and peaceful. They were bright and cheerful in an otherwise dark and dismal world; not to mention that they were energy efficient.

I could have stayed there all night like that but something brought me back to my senses.

Slurping.

Volgin was slurping his ramen noodles from earlier.

The normalcy of that sound, the mundane quality of it just made my eyes start to water. I began to bawl and cry from behind the sock stuffed into my mouth. This mother fucker just took my innocence and now he's eating motherfucking noodles! It's true, life isn't fair.

To make matters worse, I was just now feeling the effect of Volgin's rape. My vagina was torn and bleeding; the inside of it felt like it was rug burned. My insides hurt like I'd just taken a giant wooden pole up the ass by Vlad the Impaler. Adding insult to injury I could feel Volgin's seed, sticky against my thighs.

As I cried like a little girl, strapped to the bed with a dirty wool sock in my mouth, Volgin bent down and grabbed the shoe that he took off earlier.

Snapping up quickly, he grabbed his still warm bowl of noodles and finished it off and threw it into the garbage.

Volgin then leisurely strolled over to me while I cried over my whole world ending. Rudely, he yanked the sweat sock from my mouth. I gagged and choked, vomiting on the pillow next to my head.

Once I'd done that, I filled my lungs with air to begin crying anew. I sobbed like I hadn't since my childhood nightmares would wake me up in a cold sweat.

"Well that was refreshing," Volgin joked.

Yeah, the motherfucker took my virginity and he finds that refreshing; fucking hilarious.

Volgin put a hand on my shoulder in an almost friendly fashion. I recoiled from him like a scared animal, but on the inside I felt an incredible hatred that I never knew I was capable of. While I shook on the outside inside I was a roaring little beast. With every fibre of my being I wanted to be like Volgin, strong, amoral; I wanted to hurt him like he'd hurt me.

I shook and shed tears as Volgin took my chin in his hand. "Good news dick-girl, I've decided not to kill you."

So I was dick girl now? Like I said, I wanted nothing better than to take Volgin, slice his dick off and shove it up his ass and then ask him how it feels. But I was weak, terrified and strapped down. My fantasies of revenge were only a prop to keep me from totally breaking down from fear.

"P-please," I sobbed, "I don't want to die!" my wailing voice was pathetic.

Volgin tutted humorously. "Someone wasn't listening, dick-girl."

His large fingers pinched my cheek and fresh waves of tears fell down my face. "Yes," he jeered. "Let yourself go."

He smiled at me. His teeth were amazingly white but they were also chipped, broken and crooked. He was a man who'd been in a lot of fights and I was willing to be that he'd done far worse than just knock out teeth. "You're quite the catch; I think I'll keep you."

I froze at his words, the anger totally left me and I was really ready to beg for my life.

"Please mister, don't hurt me. I just want to go back to my y family; I'll never tell anyone." I stopped and cried some more before gathering my breath. "I'm Doctor Cullen's son."

Volgin laughed. "I see, then I will have to kill you, dick-girl." His hand grabbed my throat and cut off my air. My eyes bugged as his iron fingers held on. Volgin growled. "Or maybe I won't, maybe I'll just throw you down one of my secret corpse chutes and keep you as my sex slave."

My field of vision was becoming narrow from oxygen deprivation and my hearing was getting dull, but I could still hear Volgin.

He loosened his grip on my throat enough for me to breath. Then he fired more electricity from his hand and the holds on the bed instantly shut off. Volgin yanked me from the bed and held my struggling, half naked ass up like I weighed nothing.

"I'll keep you for as long as I like," Volgin gloated. Then, his smile turned into a scowl and he started to wind up his fist. "But first," his fist began to crackle with electricity and it cast a blue light on everything. "I will kick your ass for impersonating Ivan."

My prospects at that point were not good. I was about to be beaten to a pulp and electrocuted simultaneously by a big ugly Russian version of Pikachu.

It was then that my guardian angel showed up to save me.

The door to the examining room suddenly exploded off its hinges. The heavy metal door went flying across the room where it nearly took off Volgin's head. Volgin just managed to duck to avoid the flying door, dropping me in the process so that I was left now with more bruises.

I was so surprised by the flying door that I actually stopped crying; thank goodness for that.

What I saw in the doorway surprised me. Standing there in a flowery dress and sunglasses was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She was short, under five feet tall and with an explosion of messy, short black hair that looked like it'd been crudely hacked off by a mad barber; but she was so beautiful.

What impressed me most about here was the sense of strength and pride that seemed to emanate off of her. She looked strong and unafraid despite being a little pixy of a girl and despite the circumstances I found myself crushing on her.

"Don't you lay a finger on that boy, you monster," her clear, bell like voice issued forth. It was totally unlike Volgin's cigarette roughened voice.

The girl looked at me with recognition. Fuck, I hoped that she didn't also think that I was this "Major" person that Volgin had the hots for.

Then she set her gaze on Volgin. "Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin?" I was mesmerized by that voice. It was the most beautiful voice in the world.

"Who's asking?" said Volgin, his fists clenching and his posture preparing for violence.

The girl took off her glasses. Her eyes shocked me; I thought she had a disease or something. They were a radioactive green and instead of round pupils she had horizontal slits like a goat. What was wrong with her?

Then she mentioned me by name. "I'm sorry I was too late Jasper, I hope you can forgive me."

I didn't know how to respond, this was the first time I'd ever met her. Despite her freaky eyes, I still found myself lured in by this girl and her strange, mysterious charm. She was a mystery wrapped in an enigma and coated in sex appeal.

"A vampire?" Volgin exclaimed. "What are you doing here? The blood bank is two floors down."

Vampire? Like Dracula, Lesat and Count Count: is that what Volgin meant? She sure didn't look like a blood sucking fiend to me. She was a bit pale but otherwise her eyes were the only abnormal part of her.

"You have my name, Yevgeny Volgin; if you hand him over to me now I'll let you live."

"I see uttered," uttered Volgin. "And suppose that I say no."

Alice laughed a high tittering noise with a morbid message behind it. "I've seen the future, friend; the one where you say no is the one where you die."

At this, Volgin's interest was piqued. "So, you are a vampire with a talent." He chuckled unpleasantly. "I have need for a vampire with talent like that; if what you say is true."

"I'm not a man who gives second chances." Volgin threatened. "Join me and my organization; with your powers and my resources together we can rule the world." To accentuate his point he raised his clenched fist dramatically.

"Leave Jasper alone," said Alice. "This is between you and me, Volgin; let's dance." At that, she threw her legs apart in a fighting stance and held up her hands. From what I could gather she had ordinary fingernails but they seemed orange; was it nail polish?

Volgin smiled. Casually, he took off his red gloves and threw them to the floor.

Despite the enormous pain I was in, my heart filled with worry. Alice looked so delicate and fragile; she must have been only eighty pounds if that. Next to Volgin's massive frame she looked like a daffodil next to an oak tree.

Volgin threw down his coat. His body began to crackle with electricity. His scars lit up like fluorescent strips. There was so much static charge in the air that my hair stood on end. Volgin's body was glowing blue, drowning out the ceiling lights and making everything look like a faded out film.

The big Russian roared dramatically and ripped off his dress shirt; revealing a red rubber body suit that did little to hide his muscular physique. He really did look stronger than Emmett. I bet this guy had been working out with weights since he was a zygote.

"My body carries a charge of over ten million volts of electricity," Volgin trumpeted. He raised his fists in a martial arts pose. "I've killed over a hundred vampires in my time and I'm going to enjoy this."

Alice laughed. Inside, I was hoping that she would turn and run rather than fight Volgin. Vampire or not, I couldn't see her going up against such a large, brutal man and winning.

"You can pontificate all you like, big guy," Alice taunted. "I'm still kicking your ass."

Volgin grinned and made his attack. Thrusting out his arm, a powerful burst of lightning shot from his exposed fingertips. Powerful bolts of electricity burned the floor and walls before I realized that Alice had dodged the strike.

Where had she gone?

The ceiling; she was one the ceiling like a fly.

Volgin raised his other arm and fired more lighting at Alice that set the ceiling tiles on fire.

Faster than I could follow Alice jumped onto the wall and stuck out her tongue at Volgin.

Howling with rage, Volgin picked up a stainless steel filing cabinet and threw it at Alice. The two hundred pound filing cabinet flew through the air and destroyed the wall it hit.

Alice meanwhile, with superhuman agility, jumped towards the cabinet, jumped off it and launched herself right at Volgin.

I cried out when Alice got hit. As she launched herself at Volgin's jugular, he shot out with a mighty kick and caught Alice right in the stomach. I heard bones shatter and organs pop like balloons. Alice flew back and slammed into the sink, cracking the faux wood of the cabinets and denting the stainless steel.

When Alice hit the floor and cracked her skull open, showing me her brains; I thought that she was dead. Then Alice got up.

My eyes bugged out as she flipped herself over like a bug on its back and dislocated her knees and elbows with four identical cracks.

Like a fucked up little spider, she scuttled up the wall and over the ceiling to Volgin. He tried to shoot her with his lightning but she was too fast for him. Inwardly I cheered on the little spider as she attacked the big bad cockroach.

When she was over top of Volgin, Alice swung her feet downwards and caught Volgin in a kick. Her kick was so powerful that it picked up Volgin and threw him ten feet back. The giant man slammed into the fucked up hospital bed right next to me.

I saw Alice gape in shock at what she'd done.

While these juggernauts fought, I was the only normal person in the room; by normal I mean weak. Volgin's huge arm wrapped around my waist like a python and crushed me to his massive body. The electric charge of Volgin's body was causing me agony but I still managed to scream. "Alice, help me!"

"Let's make this interesting," Volgin grinned. "You join me and if your power is great enough then I'll let the boy live."

"_Let him go!_" Alice's voice changed. It sounded like it was created in a fucked up special effects lab. It really sounded like the voice of a spider if spider's had voices.

Volgin's electric charge was getting stronger. I struggled to get away but I couldn't' break Volgin's grip. When the electric charge got strong enough my heart would stop and then I'd be dead. Still, death didn't scare me as much as getting raped again. I was looking on the bright side.

Alice's mouth opened wider than was humanly possible. As her jaw dislocated, something shot out of her mouth. It was a long white tube with a sharp black stinger on the end. The sinuous, slimy tube waved around in what I imagined was anger; it looked like an inverted, repurposed oesophagus.

Both me and Volgin were shocked when Alice lifted up her skirt. For a second I thought she was going to offer himself to him to save me, but no. She was grabbing the throwing knives tucked into her nylons.

As she threw the knives at Volgin he dropped me and held his hands wide. A massive burst of electricity formed around his body like a force field. The bolts of electricity hit the knives and they dropped and hit the floor; all except for one. That one errant knife went wide and slashed a red line across Volgin's scarred cheek.

The force field didn't leave me unscathed. As lightning crackled around Volgin in a sphere a stray burst of electrical power burnt my face and I screamed.

Because I was too busy clenching my burned face, I didn't see Alice jump right through Volgin's shield. The action burnt off nearly all her clothes, hair, eyelids and roughly half of her skin.

Her bra and panties were charred and her exposed muscles looked like burnt spaghetti with tomato sauce. Her lovely black hair was also gone and I could see her off white skull, slightly charred.

She jumped on top of Volgin as the massive man threw up his hands to defend himself.

A kick to the large man's side caused Volgin to falter slightly and his electric charge seemed to decrease dramatically; as if Alice hit some electricity producing organ inside of him. There was still enough electric charge that I could see Alice's glowing skeleton.

Her tiny hands were fastened around Volgin's wrists. Every muscle on his sculpted body was straining but he was no match for Alice's strength. Bit by agonizing bit, Alice was pulling apart Volgin's huge arms to give her a clear shot at his neck.

Her stinger shot out of her mouth and aimed straight at Volgin's artery. However Volgin wasn't beaten yet.

I got over the pain in just enough time to see Volgin break one arm loose of Alice's grip and use it to intercept the oncoming stinger. The boneless, white tube stabbed into the brute's arm and began to burrow right through it.

The sharp stinger tip ripped right through Volgin's forearm and waved itself only a hair's breadth from taking Volgin's eye out.

Shifting his weight, Volgin threw Alice to the ground and tore the stinger from her mouth. Blood sprayed as the bizarre tube tore out.

I watches stunned as Volgin slammed one massive foot down hard on Alice's chest as hard as she could. Still stuck in his arm, the proboscis was flailing around like the severed leg of a spider.

Ripping the stinger from his body and bleeding profusely from the wound, Volgin broke off and ran towards the small fridge where the doctor's kept their lunches.

Volgin yanked the door to the minifridge right off its hinges. As Alice scuttled over to finish him off, he opened a small Tupperware package and the effect was instant.

Alice stumbled in her tracks, gagging as if she'd just taken a big whiff of mustard gas.

Volgin laughed as my traumatized brain struggled to process what he'd given her. I myself felt my throat began to constrict but it was only psychological; I thought that Volgin had anthrax with him or something. But if he did have anthrax then he too would be affected.

No, I smelled what was in that little Tupperware container. "Garlic," I gasped.

Alice's gagging grew worse and she began to cough and convulse.

Volgin started to advance on Alice with his little plastic bowl of spaghetti with garlic seasoning. "The effects of garlic are profound on vampire anatomy." As he spoke he made some truly hideous gnashing of his damaged teeth. "Your muscles paralyze, your vision blurs. With a concentrated dose you will die; but what fun would that be?"

Alice began to whimper and struggled to pick herself up. "_Jasper,"_ she croaked my name. Dawkins, she sounded so pitiful; but what could I do?" I instantly felt weak and cowardly; too weak to help and too afraid to try. I remained frozen on the spot.

"_Jasper,"_ she croaked again. She sounded like she had razor blades in her throat. I almost couldn't bring myself to look into those green, horizontal slitted eyes.

Volgin was closer to me now and close to the sink where he got water for his ramen noodles. "I will slay you but I'll keep a small cutting, like a bamboo shoot; and grow myself a whole new vampire with all your talent and none of your attitude."

I looked into Alice's eyes; the mysterious girl who came and rescued me and who now needed rescuing. "_Jasper,_"

Volgin was so close that I could smell his cologne over the scent of the garlic.

Alice looked into my eyes and screamed. "NOW!"

I didn't think, I just panicked. I jumped at Volgin and grabbed at his leg like a small child. He was so sure of his victory and so sure of himself that I threw him off balance.

The giant man's arms wind milled and threw the garlic spaghetti into my face. So now I'd been raped, burned by electricity, found out I was a woman and now I had food on me.

As Volgin fell, he automatically kicked his leg and threw met into Alice's direction. I landed just to the left of her.

Alice grabbed me and crushed me to her. In her grip I squirmed and tried to free myself. I'd only just met her and she was a vampire; I didn't know she didn't want to eat me.

I stopped struggling when Volgin fell like a downed sequoia. He fell backwards onto the sink, totally destroying it and unleashing a torrent of water from a busted pipe.

The effect was instant. Volgin began to scream and thrash as the water splashed all over him. His scars were glowing brighter than ever before, almost like the water was causing the source of his power to short circuit. His screams were so loud I was sure that he could be heard all the way from Canada. I was wondering where the hell was hospital security.

Alice however was still suffering from the garlic, so while trying to avoid getting electrocuted to death I reached and grabbed the small Tupperware container and put the lid snugly back on.

As he screamed louder and louder, Volgin set his bulging eyes on me. "SNAKE!" he screamed.

I could hear footsteps in the hallway as Volgin screamed once more. "SNAKE!"

At last he gave one final cry of "SNAAAAKKKEEEE!" before he exploded like a human bomb.

His entire upper body detonated in an electric maelstrom that took out all the lights and electronic equipment in the hospital.

When Volgin went off like a firecracker he covered the room in blood, guts, bone and chunks of flesh. Before the lights went out I saw an eyeball go flying past.

The sudden darkness in the room served to remind me that I was still in Alice's grip. Honestly I was afraid of her; her eyes were strange and her burned face looked like a skull. It was like seeing a snake; I was afraid but I was also fascinated, I couldn't pull away.

In the light of the new sunrise, I saw Alice's eyes reorient in her head so that her slits turned vertical for a moment. "Wow," she said before her eyes went back to their horizontal position. "Your pupils are so round."

It was so tense there, which is why I was almost glad that my dad entered the room the next second. I'm sure seeing his son bleeding down below and wrapped up by a girl so badly mutilated she should have been dead must have taken ten years off his life.

Before I knew it, Alice had scooped me up and jumped through the window with me; using her body to shield me from broken glass.

We plunged two or three stories before Alice landed on top of a lamp post and broke it. Then with the grace of a tree frog she hopped from several lamp post tops before sprinting into the surrounding forests. We stopped by a small stream to wash my face because the spaghetti sauce was making Alice nauseous before we moved on again.

* * *

After we'd run for some time, she put me down and explained the whole thing to me.

"You're a vampire," I said.

"That's right," said Alice. By now her hair was coming back and so was her skin but I could still see big red patches of exposed muscle on her half naked body. And then there were those eyes of hers. At once they were freaky but still strangely pretty.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"Fifteen years old," she chirruped.

"Fifteen years," I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. The situation was so surreal that I honestly didn't have time to be traumatized. Alice had provided me with a blanket and some sandwiches she'd set up earlier. Apparently she was planning to spirit me away from the start.

"How long have you been fifteen," I questioned. It would somehow make it less cool to meet with a vampire knowing that they were only fifteen. Not that I regularly thought about vampires; they were Edward's obsession after he grew out of his princess phase.

"Since the nineteen twenties," she responded. "I was created when a scientist in Mississippi captured a live vampire and killed it. Before he killed that vampire he took a small cutting and tried to preserve it for study. Instead that small cutting grew into me."

She smiled at me; I was slightly taken aback at her lack of fangs, for she had something much worse in her mouth. "Vampires are very resilient; if you take a cutting of one and feed it then it's just like planting a twig, you get a whole new tree."

"Can you see the really see the future?"

This time Alice hesitated with her answer. "That's correct."

I felt my eyes start to water and my physical injuries began to act up again. I winced as my idle hand touched the burn on my face. "Why didn't you stop him sooner?" I implored.

Alice swallowed and turned away from me. Alice shifted on the rock that she was using as a seat. She wrung her hands and deliberated before she answered me. "My visions of the future are subjective; everything is based on choices. A single choice can affect the whole future. In your case, Volgin just chose to have a snack break then when I originally saw him working in his office."

I was utterly horrified. Suddenly her power seemed like such a terrible and useless thing. "But, how do I know you didn't just wait for him to do that and then try to save me." It wasn't like me to be so cynical, especially about someone so pretty; but I was having a hard time believing in human goodness after what had happened to me. And it didn't matter that she wasn't human, she was close enough to it.

Alice stood up and took my hands in her cool, not fully healed ones. The dried blood was sticky on my skin. "Jasper, we've never met before and I know I'm nothing but a pretty face to you. But I promise you on my very soul that I did not mean for you to get raped. That's not something I would wish on anyone."

"But how do I know that you're telling the truth?" I asked. I was so beaten down by the experience that I really didn't care how pitiful I sounded.

Alice got down on one knee like she was proposing. "Jasper, I'm hoping that I'll eventually be able to earn your trust. I am a vampire and I can easily hurt you; I won't lie about it."

Alice stopped and hesitated again. The words were hard for her. "Jasper," she said in a small voice. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Huh?" the words out of my mouth were pure poetry. "What?"

"B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D, silly boy; will you be my BF?"

"Uh, um, I don't know?" I normally dreamed of a hot chick asking me out just like this but in my fantasy the girl was human and I couldn't see her muscles and tendons.

"Let's look at it this way," Alice stood up and put her hand to her chin in a theatrical pose. "Do you have a girlfriend already?"

"No," I said.

"Great," muttered Alice. "Do you like girls?"

"Yes," I said. Why couldn't she do this when I was less exhausted?

She bent over and put her hands on my knees. "Did you think I was hot before I got burned to a crisp?"

"Yeah," I said. "You were really hot. Your hair was so awesome and soft looking." The thought of her before her injuries was making me go goo-goo for her.

Right at that minute, the blanket was thrown open and Alice climbed into my lap. While it was bruised as hell by the manhandling Volgin gave it, my cock instantly sprang to attention.

"Wow," said Alice. "That's huge; I didn't see that in the vision."

I blushed bright red. She probably said that about all the guys but for me I knew it was true because I was packing in the man department. It made me feel good about myself.

"Jasper, I'm asking you to take a risk and trust me. We'll never do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

It was a tempting offer. The world was a dangerous place, Volgin showed me as much; I could use a vampire on my side.

When she kissed me on the lips lightly, I melted. I felt like she's zapped me through the lips with a jolt; not a jolt of electricity, Volgin gave me enough of that shit.

I took a few deep breaths to slow down my racing heart and raging hard-on. "Can I think about it?"

Alice put her hands around my shoulders and smiled with her strange eyes. "Of course, silly; whatever you feel like."

Whatever I felt like. This offer was getting better and better all the time.

"There are some ground rules though. These rules are for both of us because I feel like such a pedophile going after you like this." She told me.

That was kind of a harsh descriptor for such a pretty lady.

"Rule one," Alice explained. "I won't turn you until you're at least forty years old."

I was reluctant but I went along with it. "Sure, that's okay with me."

Alice giggled, it sounded like birdsong. "I'm sort of embarrassed but I really like the older men, especially rough men." She put her hands to her chest and sighed. "Madds Mikkelsen is such a hot hunk of man beast."

That kind of helped to lower my hard on, hearing her gush about this Mad guy.

"Alright, we've cleared that I'm a DILF hunter. Rule number two: I won't lay you until you're at least twenty."

"What!" I shouted. "Alice, you suck!" I yelled at her.

She giggled again but this time it only served to piss me off. What was wrong with me? Was she too good to lay me now? "Rosalie spreads it like cream cheese for my brother Emmett."

"Then marry Rosalie," Alice pouted. Her anger didn't last long though. Soon she was back to her usual chipper state.

"Easy soldier," she hugged me and playfully tapped on my nose. "This is just something for my own comfort. I promise we'll still explore sexuality and stuff but no actual penetration."

Something in those inhuman eyes just melted my anger but not completely. Her lips and tongue kissing me though totally took the fire out of me and I felt like I was high on opium.

"Kay, thanks," I mumbled through a haze of feelings and emotions.

She seemed to space out for a moment and then turned to me. "Your dad is going to be home in ten minutes. We'd better go now if we want to beat him."

I nodded but didn't' realize fully what a wildcat Alice was until she scooped me up without any warning and jumped thirty feet into the air towards home.

* * *

And that's all folks :D There's just an epilogue left on this baby to wrap things up for those of you who are wondering what happened next. This has been a fun story to write and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Ta

Master of the Boot


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